As a photographer, I see more of the wedding day than any other person at the wedding…except for maybe the wedding planner. I also act as a sounding board for couples throughout the wedding planning process, so I get to hear all their worries and concerns. Based on everything I’ve seen and heard, not to mention experienced myself when I was a bride, I think I’ve got a pretty good idea what it takes to be an awesome wedding guest.

Now I know most of my readers are either past clients or those in the throws of planning their own weddings and might not necessarily be interested in tips for how to be a good wedding guest. But, keep in mind, at some point you’ll be a wedding guest. Also, there might be a few things in this post that are worrying you about your own wedding, so if you think that maybe some of the people on your guest list might need a little inspiration, feel free to share the link to this post on social media profiles…as a helpful guide!

1. RSVP
One of the top peeves for couples is guests that don’t RSVP and then they are stuck tracking people down when they already have a million other things on their plate. You know they need to know how many guests are coming to inform the caterer and the bar, so don’t be that guy.

2. Don’t ask for a plus one
Assume the couple wants you there but just can’t swing the cost for plus ones. Reserve to meet some new people, including some other plus one free guests!

3. If the couple wants you to unplug…unplug.
The wedding is about the couple and if they want you to pay attention to the words they are saying to each other instead of trying to get the perfect picture, finding the best filter, or live tweeting, do it.

4. Don’t bring a gift to the wedding
Someone has to keep track of, and drive all that stuff somewhere afterward. Just mail it a few days before or after the wedding to the address listed on the registry. The one caveat is if the couple is immediately leaving for their honeymoon and you are giving cash for them to spend on said honeymoon. In that case, find someone (like a parent, maid of honor or best man) that will ensure the couple gets it before they depart.

5. Don’t compare weddings
Just don’t. It’s not a competition. It’s great that you or your friend were able to spend $1000 per guest and there were droves of out of season flowers at the most expensive venue in town. It doesn’t matter now. Comparing makes you look like a huge jerk. Just don’t.
6. Sign the guest book
No one expects you to write a mind blowing essay on the intricacies of marriage. Just tell the couple you wish them a joyous life together. If you’re really dying to get creative, consider jotting down a favorite or meaningful song lyric, or book or movie quote.

7. Give a compliment
The couple (hopefully) knows they look good, so while the “you look great” line will be appreciated, it won’t necessarily be impactful. Be specific…your bouquet is gorgeous, the taco bar is delicious, this up lighting is magical. The couple spent months planning each detail and will be overjoyed to hear you noticed!
8. Don’t pull the couple away from the party
If you haven’t had a chance to hang with them yet and they are deep in the throws of the hokey pokey, meet them where they are. Don’t pull them away from the fun to say hi and congrats.

9. Dance your face off
The couple paid bou-coup bucks for a DJ or band because they wanted to dance the night away with you in celebration. So get out on the floor and give them your best moves. It’s totally cool. All dance styles are welcome and encouraged. We’re all family here!

10. Take your favor
Time and thought were invested and money was spent. Whether or not you love the favor, take one. You can find a use for it or give it away (drop it in the break room at work with a “free to a good home” sign). Spare the couple that sinking feeling of seeing half the favors left behind.