Did you know your wedding photographer knows a whole lot about weddings? This seems obvious right? But so few couples really utilize their photographers for the wealth of knowledge they possess about what makes a wedding day epic versus average. To be fair, this is not entirely the couple’s fault. Some photographers just don’t want to seem pushy or bothersome. That, paired with a couple that’s not sure they can ask for guidance, or even what to ask for that matter, means there is a lot of great information slipping through the cracks.

So I compiled a list of “15 things your wedding photographer wants you to know (but probably hasn’t told you). Use this list as a conversation starter when talking with your wedding photographer. They may have some different views, but it’ll get you where you need to go and ensure you’ll get even more of those brilliant images you hired them to record!

1. You really need a wedding timeline, and everyone intimately involved with the wedding needs a copy of it. Weddings don’t just happen and nothing “just falls into place” unless it’s been scheduled to. You’ll always need more time than you think you need and no one knows this better than your photographer. A timeline makes the wedding go round…and smooth. This is something you’ll need to work on with your photographer (in concert with your wedding planner if you have one) from the beginning. They can even help you decide on things like when to schedule your hair and makeup and when to tell the florist to drop off the bouquets and boutonnieres. Once the timeline is solidified you should provide a copy to every wedding attendant, your parents (and any other important family members) as well as your venue, wedding planner, etc. If everyone is on the same page from the very beginning, the day will run smoothly.

2. We’d prefer if your ceremony was “unplugged”. Would you rather have the smiling faces of your guests in your photos, or their cameras and cell phones? Also, do you really want to take a chance of one of your more excitable guests jumping into the aisle to get your first kiss shot, inevitably blocking the one we were about to get (which I promise you would have been better)? It’s really better for your photos if your guests aren’t distracted trying to do what you paid your photographer to do. Plus if they aren’t distracted, they can pay attention to all the magical, loving words that are happening and really BE THERE with you. Since unplugged weddings are gaining in popularity, many photographers have come up with ways to make sure your guests can get your wedding photo gallery information without having to try to get in touch with you. Ask your photographer for help and they’ll be happy you asked!

3. We don’t want to copy/recreate tons of photos from Pinterest. It’s YOUR day, not some mish-mash pin board of other people’s moments. We can’t capture YOUR moments if we’re busy worrying about copying someone else’s. Also, it hinders us from using our creativity, which was probably one of the main reasons you hire us in the first place. Use your day to its fullest. Explore your venue and find locations that inspire you and compliment the vision of how you want to remember your wedding. Pinterest is great for getting organized and analyzing what moves and inspires you, but don’t let it run your day.

4. A first look will get you more portraits, romantic time alone, and more time with your guests. Whatever your traditional values, it’s 2015! You really can do whatever you want. A lot of couples think that if they do a first look, the emotion won’t be there at the ceremony. Oh but it will, and in many cases even more so. When you’re walking down the aisle at the ceremony, there are a million things you’ll want to say to each other, but you can’t. You’ll have to wait until the ceremony is over and the moment has passed before you can even talk to each other, and now you are in the throws of family photos. That totally sucks! First looks give you that private moment and the time to share your excitement alone together. It takes the edge off, but still leaves the anticipation for the ceremony and seeing all your family and friends. And if either one of you was going to cry, it’s still going to happen regardless of if you did a first look or not. When you walk into that ceremony and see each other and all your guests, the raw emotion is not one bit stifled.

5. You may not even need us for the last hour or two of your reception. Some photographers may have differing opinions on this, but if you’re looking to save money, it’s better to cut time from the end of the day rather than the beginning. Some guests leave early, while others party into the night and a lot of what we get towards the end of the night is what is referred to as “blackmail photos.” If you’re worried about not getting photos of your getaway, you can consider doing a celebratory ceremony exit (when all of your guests are still present…think Grandparents), or take a break during the reception and do a staged exit. You could even use that time to sneak away with your photographer for 15 minutes of night portraits before heading back in to party with your guests!

6. We don’t want to sell you what you don’t want or need, but that doesn’t mean we won’t say no if your ideals about the preservation of your wedding day don’t align with ours. Our goal is to help you preserve your day for yourselves and future generations. We are romantics and have certain expectations about what it means to be your historian. Some photographers won’t photograph for less than a certain amount of hours because they feel they can’t tell the story on anything less and doing so would devalue their service. Some photographers require that you purchase an album with your package because they feel they haven’t truly told your story until it is printed in book form. Some photographers will only shoot film and deliver prints rather than digital files because they feel that photos aren’t real unless they are tangible at all stages of the photography process. We all have different values and definitions about what it means to be a wedding photographer. The best photographer for you is the one whose photos you love and whose values and services align with yours.

7. We’ll be as adventurous as you. Don’t assume your photographer won’t play ball if you want to wade into a stream in your wedding attire, or climb to the top of a building (or mountain for that matter) to capture an epic overhead shot of you. If you have an idea for a photo that requires some sweat, dirt and/or elbow grease, we’ll totally do it! Anything to get the shot!

8. We really, really, really, need to eat. A fed photographer is a happy photographer. We work crazy hard and our gear is super heavy, so by the time the reception rolls around we’ve burned three days worth of calories and probably haven’t eaten anything except maybe a granola bar in transit from one getting ready area to another. We need some sustenance and the best time to feed us is at the same time as you, the happy couple. This way we can finish scarfing (that’s literally what happens), hit the restroom, and revived and energetic, be back before the plates get collected.

9. Be wary of trends. We all love a good trend. Remember parachute pants? How many of you have burned photos of yourself wearing them? Did your parents get married in the 80’s or early 90’s? I bet your mom’s wedding gown had huge, puffy sleeves…you know the dresses I’m talking about! The point is, every industry goes through trends and wedding photography is no different. From posing, to color caste and various other post processing applications, to album design and availability of various photo products, it can be easy to get sucked up. Think about your personal style and the future of your photos when you book a photographer and purchase products. If your personal style is classic, don’t hire a photographer that applies vintage tones to all their images, as you are probably better suited to someone that excels at black and white images. If you decorate your home in a coastal style, don’t get sucked in to buying a metal print wall display just because it’s new and exciting right now. If you are a quirky, silly, fun-loving couple don’t spend half your day not smiling in photos just because that’s what everyone else seems to be doing. Be your own trend, because you’re always in style!

10. For every hour we photograph your wedding, there are 3-4 hours of work you don’t see. It seems like we show up, take some photos and get paid tons of money for just a few hours of work. Believe me, if that’s how it really was, everyone would be a photographer! There’s a lot of time consuming work that you don’t see…like editing. A lot of photographers (like myself) do their own editing rather than outsourcing it. Outsourcing editing usually means a higher cost to you. I like to handle all of my own editing. I’m just enough of a control freak to have a moderate panic attack at the thought of handing my images over to someone else to edit. I like to have the control from beginning to end. Add in the time for consultations, attending your rehearsal, uploading your images and maintaining your online gallery, designing your album (I don’t outsource that either) and that puts us at a 40 hour work week, but sometimes more.

11. We would rather avoid using Photoshop. It’s better to get the photo correct, than to correct the photo. I hear it all the time…”oh you can just Photoshop that out right?” Photoshop is an amazing tool, but it isn’t necessarily a fast acting tool. Photoshoping something out could take less than a minute (like blemish), or it could take an hour (like an exit sign, or a group of people), in which case you’ll be charged a retouching fee. So if your photographer asks that a space be clear when they arrive, or if they want you to stand in a certain spot because there’s something distracting in the background, heed their direction. They know what they are doing and there is a reason for everything!

12. We’d really prefer if you didn’t print our beautiful images at Walmart (or Shutterfly, or Target, or…). We worked really hard editing them to make them look their very best. We did all this work with equipment and programs that cost tens of thousands of dollars, on a calibrated, color corrected monitor to ensure the highest quality images. Yes, a consumer printer will be less expensive, but the color will print wrong, the paper and ink will be lesser quality and by the time you start considering a 5 year anniversary portrait session, they’ll be faded and need to be replaced. Consider this…you could spend $2.00 on an 8×10 and replace it every 5-10 years, or you could purchase a $20 8×10 from your photographer that you can proudly hand to your grandchild on your diamond anniversary. We’re going to give you prints that are made of the highest quality paper and archival inks with coatings to protect against dust, fingerprints and even UV light! Walmart doesn’t have that!

13. If your parents pay for our services and/or sign the wedding photography contract, we are obligated to their desires…at least a little bit. Whoever pays has a right to an opinion and if they happen to be the ones who also signed the contract then they own the right to run the show, because they are technically the client. We can’t afford to go against the wishes of our contractual client, even if they differ from the wishes of the benefactor (in this case the wedding couple) because our reputation is at stake. Just remember, whoever signs the contract is technically the client. If you don’t want any issues, it’s best to discuss photography expectations with anyone that might be involved financially. You might not think it’s a big deal, but if the big day rolls around and your mom shows up with a list of photos she wants that you’re not interested in, it can really put a damper on things. It’s best to include everyone and lay everything out from the very beginning.

14. We need you to ask so we can YES! There are lots of questions that couples want to ask, but for some reason they don’t. Whether it’s asking for a product you don’t see in our catalog, asking for help getting everyone on board with the timeline, or even asking for a specific, epic photo idea you came up with…we can’t say yes unless you ask! And we want to say yes because we want you to have the very best experience. That in mind, we can’t say yes to an Italian leather 40 spread album for free (even though we might really want to), but there are so many things that we know you want to ask that we could immediately say yes to, so don’t hold out on us!

15. We’re eternally grateful for any and all referrals you send us. FOR REAL!!! When you refer someone to us, we feel A-MAZ-ING! It means you thought so highly of us that you were willing to endorse us and our business. When it’s someone close to you that’s even better because it means we’ll probably get to see you again too!