We are in the throws of wedding season (queue petal toss, bubbles and sparklers) and that means it is getting real for lots of couples. With that in mind, I’m going to chat about wedding rehearsals…something important that tends to be a last minute thought, but can really affect the trajectory of the wedding day.

Wedding rehearsals are definitely an American tradition and aren’t something readily practiced outside the USA. I would venture to guess it is because we are such a melting pot of cultures and traditions that our weddings have become much more boutique compared to those of other countries. Rather than blindly following tradition for the sake of it, we’re blending our wedding events the way we’ve blended our relationships. When my husband and I got hitched he walked down the aisle and chose his own music and we did our “grand exit” from our ceremony rather than our reception.

It doesn’t matter if you are having 20 wedding attendants or 2, or if you’ve invited 300 guests or 30, a rehearsal is your last opportunity before your wedding day to outline your plan, confirm details and get your crew on the same page. It’s also the best way to get everyone acquainted. Don’t forget that your wedding party and families may be feeling some nerves and a pre-wedding meeting can really take the edge off and get everyone in a celebratory mood!

With that in mind, here are nine tips to help you make the most of your wedding rehearsal.

Introduce everyone to the group. There’s a good chance that some of your wedding attendants don’t know each other or your parents or grandparents. This is most likely the first time your entire wedding crew has been together in one location. Introduce each person by name and a very short description (this is my bridesmaid Emily who I went to college with). Introduce your coordinator. If you haven’t hired a coordinator, you’ll want to designate an organized, slightly bossy yet nice, family member or friend to the position. This will ensure your ceremony unfolds smoothly.

Place wedding attendants where they’ll be standing during the ceremony. Stand back and look to make sure you like where everyone is placed. Take into account the shaping (is everyone on the same plane or do you want them in a “V” or curved shape) spacing, etc. Inform parents, grandparents and special attendants where they will be sitting. It may seem backwards, but I suggest parents actually be seated on the opposite side from their child. If they are on the same side, they will be looking at the back of their child’s head, but if they are on the opposite side, they’ll be able to see their child’s face!

Read the order of the ceremony for the attendants. Don’t read through the whole ceremony word for word, just give everyone the basic outline. Inform anyone performing a special task during the ceremony what their queue is and where they should go at that point.

Practice the recessional. Determine the order, pairings (if any) and spacing of your attendants. I suggest allowing the couple to reach the end of the aisle before the next person or pairing exits and then allowing at least four to five rows between each consecutive pairing. It’s also very important you determine where everyone will recess to. I advise the couple, wedding attendants and immediate family congregate in an out of the way (and out of view) spot for a few moments so the ceremony location can be cleared of everyone not needed for formal photos.

Practice the processional…last. You’ll need to nail down who and in what order everyone will process down the aisle, in addition to the timing of entrances of those entering from a different location (most often this is for the Groom, groomsmen and/or the officiant). For those processing, determine the pace of the walk and the spacing between each person or pairing/grouping. It’s good to actually have the music available if possible, to help attendants with the actual audible queue. Since you’ve already shown everyone where they’ll be standing or sitting, they’ll know where to go once they begin.

Practice anything else that needs to be practiced. A few years ago I had a groom announce he wanted to dip his bride during their first kiss. He was super excited about it so I had him do it at the rehearsal. As I expected it was a bit wonky, unstable and would have our bride kicking her leg up at the crowd (aka flashing an up-dress shot at their guests) rather than parallel with it. Yes, there is a proper way to do a dip. After a short tutorial (where I proceeded to dip the bride who was laughing hysterically) and a few practice rounds he was a dip expert. He dipped his lovely wife lots of times on their wedding day and it was romantic and magical! Of course you can’t practice for real emotion, but if there is a certain thing you know you want to do, do a practice round or two to make sure it’s working for you.

Pass out printed materials. I’m not suggesting you hand out novels, but a summary of pertinent info is recommended. Think things like timeline of events (I always provide couples and their coordinator with a photography timeline) so everyone knows where to be and when, contact info for the wedding coordinator, best man and maid of honor, etc. and any other info your wedding squad may need. You can also text the info to everyone so even if someone forgets their sheet on the day, they can still access it from their phone.

Make announcements about social media dos and don’ts. Certain wedding etiquette subjects might seem obvious, but you really should never assume. I’ve seen attendants posting photos of all kinds of things before the ceremony and it makes me cringe every time. If you want your wedding party to forgo cell phone pics and Instagram posts for part or all of the day, let them know. Avoid the hurt feelings right out of the gate.

Give labeled envelopes to anyone responsible for tipping vendors. Don’t be worrying about this on your wedding day. There may be a few vendors you want to tip personally (your hair and makeup artist), but most vendors will be in and out before you even realize it. Florists, linen, furniture and various other rental companies and cake delivery are usually happening when you are in the throws of the day. Go ahead and let someone else worry about the tips, or make a plan to deliver them after the wedding along with a thank you note or review. Just be sure to get the names of the employees and delivery people so you ensure everything gets to the proper people.

Not all rehearsals will be the same. Weddings involving larger numbers of attendants and guests will likely be more involved. Planned Elopements and intimate weddings may be much simpler. Either way, a rehearsal is still the best way to get everyone with a part to play on the same page and, if well utilized, melt some jitters away and get everyone in a celebratory, joyful mood!

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