The topic I’m covering in this edition of The Wedding Cake Sessions is a somewhat touchy subject in the wedding industry, and that’s exactly why I think we need to talk about it! When couples start planning their wedding, the first vendor to get booked is usually the wedding venue. Once your date is reserved you’ll likely experience a feeling of relief. Next comes a feeling of overwhelm when you realize just how much is left to do! You’re thinking “we need a florist, a DJ, a photographer…” and you have no clue where to start, so logically you ask the venue if they have any suggestions. Enter the preferred vendors list! It’s magical, it’s all right there and you barely had to lift a finger to get this list of seemingly coveted professionals that your amazing venue must prize as the best in the business. It seems so easy to just check out these vendors, pick the one you like the most and book them. While that may seem like the best option, you still need to do your research and due diligence, because things are not always what they seem.

DOES PREFERRED VENDOR MEAN “PREFERRED” OR “PAID”?

That seems like a really silly question right? Obviously these are two different words with two very different meanings. It’s completely reasonable to assume that the vendors on a list titled “preferred vendors” are there because the referrer has vetted the business, had multiple high quality experiences with the business, and has deemed that the vendor’s service standard is in line with their own and will serve their couples in a similar manner to their own. Basically, you assume this list is made of reputable businesses and the referring vendor is being authentic in singing their praises. Meanwhile, you’d assume a “paid vendor” is a vendor that paid to be mentioned, like businesses you see featured in the many ads in wedding magazines or in sidebar ads on wedding blogs. These are easy to differentiate and having this information gives you informed consent as you move forward with your planning. Unfortunately, from what I’ve seen in the wedding industry these lines are cleverly getting blurred and wedding venues seem to be the worst culprits.

HOW I FOUND OUT ABOUT PAID POSITIONS ON PREFERRED VENDOR LISTS

I didn’t realize that openly misleading couples in this way was a fairly common practice when I first started photographing weddings. I was meeting with a venue owner a few years ago and she volunteered to me that the vendors on their preferred vendors list were not paid, they were just businesses she really enjoyed working with and had multiple good experiences with. In my naiveté I asked “isn’t that how a preferred vendors list works?” She laughed and told me yes, that’s how it should work, but in her experience managing other wedding venues throughout the country, that’s not always how it went. I was floored!

Fast forward a few months and I’m photographing a beautiful wedding at a gorgeous venue and the manager asks me for photos for their new brochure. I had looked through their magazine style takeaway and noticed many of the photos were watermarked by the various photographers, so when I happily emailed them photos from the event, I included a small watermark on each image. I was excited and annoyed a few weeks later to discover they had chosen one of my photos to include (yeah!) and cropped the watermark out (boo!). I was informed that in order to have my watermark included I had to be a preferred vendor which I could achieve for a fee! I was perturbed and frankly, disgusted. Not only did I feel completely mislead, I felt I should have been given that tiny bit of credit in exchange for the portfolio pieces I shared with them, especially since they had made a special request for photos by a certain deadline. I took the time to accommodate them because I was under the impression they liked my work and valued the level of service I had just provided to the couple and wanted to form a working relationship with me. Ironically this wedding was featured on not one, but three wedding blogs (free advertising for them) where the venue is, of course, credited, because I take the time to include as many vendors as possible that help pull an event off. While that venue is beautiful and I would love to photograph there again, the lack of gratitude for my hard work tainted my whole experience with them and left a bad taste in my mouth.

DON’T BE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF

As a couple you deserve to know if “preferred vendors” are paid vendors or reliable vendors. A paid vendors list (a.k.a. an advertisement) that is disguised as a genuine recommendation based on experience and merit is misleading to couples and actually does them a disservice.

Let me be clear that I have no problem with vendors accepting payment to place other vendors on a list they share with their clients, as long as the nature of the arrangement is disclosed openly and honestly. If these lists are truthfully labeled as advertisements (or sponsorships) and couples are offered this informed consent, then everyone can move forward outside of the shadow of shady dealings. But advertising sneakily displayed as an unbiased, authentic recommendation of another business is unethical, despicable and 100% self serving with little to no concern for the consumer.

I have heard of several vendors losing referrals from businesses that had previously sent them lots of referrals because those businesses decided to adopt a paid “preferred” vendor program. That means that up until these businesses decided to charge for referrals, they were referring based on experience and now they are referring based on money. How does that sound to you? Like a conflict of interest?

DISCUSS IT WITH YOUR VENDORS

In most cases, even if vendors paid to be on a list, they are likely to have been vetted at least a little bit. Businesses would obviously not want to put their reputations on the line by just recommending anyone that was willing to fork over some cash, without at least doing some research first. As a consumer, though, I prefer to be given a referral based on merit rather than account balance and since you’ll likely be forking over thousands of dollars, that pretty much gives you the right to ask any questions you want!

Ask specifically how the businesses made preferred vendors lists. Be forward in asking if the lists provided to you are paid advertisements or authentic recommendations based on a good track record. If they say the positions are paid, you can move forward with that in mind (and feel at ease that they were so honest with you).

Ask to see examples! Chances are, if this vendor is really preferred, they’ll have been featured somewhere on the vendor’s website or blog. If they can show you an example and speak about their experience, you’ll have a better feel for the relationship.

OTHER CONSIDERATIONS

Whether or not the vendors paid to be there, these lists are just a small sample of all the vendors in your area. It’s still worth your time to do some outside research in case you fall in love with another business. Ask friends and family for referrals, join a Facebook wedding planning support group and read local wedding blogs for inspiration. You may find a photo of a cake online and decide you not only love the cake, but the photographer too!

Make sure it’s a “preferred” vendors list as opposed to an “allowed” vendors list. Some businesses will have certain rules for which vendors they’ll work with. This is almost exclusively encountered with venues and most of the time if they have an allowed vendors list, it is pertaining to caterers and bartenders. This is totally understandable since there are things like food safety and liquor licenses at stake. Just be sure to ask  which types of vendors have restrictions.

I don’t mean to send the entire wedding consumer population into a frenzy with this information and I hope our readers understand that I’m posting this from a place of true caring and concern. I hate to see anyone taken advantage of, or fooled by shady practices. When I advertise anywhere, I always share it with my readers. You can click here and here to see two posts about paid advertising I’ve done. I’m happy to share when I pay for advertising because I’m proud of the businesses I advertise with. I want all my clients and readers to have a roster of wedding vendors that are perfect for them and provide top notch service in an honest environment.

Happy planning!